


My God, It's Full of Stars

by CounterfeitBravado



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Holidays, Kara and Lena met in college and well, Minor Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, things spiraled from then on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-18 12:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13099821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CounterfeitBravado/pseuds/CounterfeitBravado
Summary: It takes a long time, but eventually, carefully, meticulously-- over lunch breaks and secret glances and hushed conversations-- they find themselves drifting back together, unable to resist the unbreakable force of gravity between them, becoming casualties in their individual drives to stay together.(It’s magnetic, dangerous, and foolish, but so, so worth it.And Kara can’t help but fall deeper into the past.)/ /In which Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor find their way back to each other after years of silence.





	My God, It's Full of Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RoseWilliams15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseWilliams15/gifts).



> Happy Holidays! 
> 
> This is my entry for the Supergirl Secret Santa Exchange for RoseWilliams15 with the prompt "Kara and Lena’s first Holiday season together". I really didn't know what to do with this prompt, if I'm to be completely honest, so this is a couple thousand words of supercorp during the holiday season. A quick note beforehand: timing in this fic in no way matches with canon, it starts at the beginning of season two, follows a few plot lines and goes completely rogue, so... be wary of that. 
> 
> I hope you like it, pal :)

 

**November 2016: National City**

 

The holiday season in National City starts early, as it does on an annual basis, still, there’s no rightful excuse when tinsel, oversized menorahs, and fully-functioning Santa’s Workshops are strewn about the city the day after Halloween.  

 

And of all her years living in the urban space, it’s the first time Kara feels overwhelmed with the holiday spirit-- and not in a relatively good sense. And it’s all because of one passenger.

 

One passenger who had previously booked a seat on the Venture, one who had mysteriously not shown up last minute, missing the crash of the spacecraft.

 

One passenger whose name she was all too familiar with, maybe even more so than her cousin.

 

One passenger by the name of Lena Luthor.

 

/ /

 

Jess has the two seated in a waiting area just outside the CEO’s office, swayed into squeezing them in for a quick interview by a flash of Clark’s smile.

 

The moment between the end of Lena’s current meeting and the impromptu interview with the Supers is long enough that Kara begins to overthink everything. It’s been at least four years since she’s last seen Lena, their last meeting marked with unfulfilled promises to stay in touch and remain friendly with each other.

 

She isn’t too sure of how the woman will react to her unannounced presence now.

 

“Nervous, Kara?”

 

Clark’s voice causes her stop fidgeting with the pen in her hands. Kara turns towards him as he’s adjusting the straps of his bag against his shoulder.

 

“Something like that.”

 

Clark sways from one side to the other, turning something over in his head, “It’ll be good to be wary in there. The Luthors aren’t known to be the most… _predictable_ people.”

 

Kara shifts her glasses up and nods, whispering under her breath, “I remember.”

 

Kara silently thanks him when he makes no further remarks.

 

/ /

 

**November 2010: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

“Mind if I sit here?”

 

It takes a moment for Lena to realize the question is being directed at her. She heard of this before-- finding different places to sit at in the dining halls as a way of meeting new people-- she’s even read it in many of those How-To-Make-Friends-In-College blogs. Still, this would be a first for her; both in the sense of being approached and approaching others.

 

She doesn’t make light of the opportunity.

 

“No, not at all.” Lena begins to move her book off the table as the girl moves to sit down.

 

“Thanks. I was debating sitting closer to the soda fountain but the tables over there are more on the smaller side.” It’s as the girl’s saying this that Lena notes just how many plates she’s carrying. “And besides, now I’m closer to the sushi bar and get to meet a new person.”

 

The girl extends a hand over the plates of food.

 

“Kara Danvers.”

 

Lena tries not to get distracted by the warmth of the girl’s smile.

 

(She fails.)

 

“Lena Luthor.”

 

Kara twirls some pasta onto her fork before waving it in the direction of Lena’s bookbag.

 

“What was that you were reading earlier?”

 

“ _2001: A Space Odyssey_.” A pause. “It’s just as great as the movie is, actually. I highly recommend it if you’re into that sort of thing.”

 

“The space travel and moon babies and stars sort of thing?”

 

“You’ve read it then?”

 

“I saw the movie once a few years ago with my sister. It’s…” The older girl seems to search for the word in her head. “interesting.”

 

Lena grins over her glass of water.

 

“Define _interesting_.”

 

Kara clicks her tongue playfully.

 

“I’d rather not. I mean, I’m not all too great with the whole talking-to-people thing, but I know it’s got a negative effect when you bash something someone else seems to like.”

 

Lena taps her fork down on the plate in front of her, the metal clanging against the ceramic. She leans back with a small, challenging smile, an eyebrow quirked.

 

“So… bad interesting then? Don’t you find it rather fascinating? The black domain of space, the visuals, the whole _My god, it’s full of stars_ thing?”

 

“I mean, like… it’s not a necessarily bad film, it’s just a bit _lacking_. The story is impossible to follow, the plot itself is rather slow, and it’s got space all wrong.”

 

“Oh yeah, of course. And having been to space yourself, the lack of attention to detail is just rude, huh?”

 

Kara laughs and Lena is glad she caught on to the sarcasm.

 

“Exactly. You’d be better off watching Star Wars. Now _that’s_ a film saga that respects alien life and understands space travel.” Kara swallows down her bite of food, pausing as she reaches for her drink. She downs the rest of the contents of her glass and flashes Lena a playful grin. “And not to mention what a cinematic marvel Jar-Jar is.”

 

Now Lena’s the one laughing, fighting to catch her breath as she shakes her head at the woman across from her.

 

“You’re something else, Ms. Danvers _. Flung out of space.._.”

 

Kara tips her head to the side, confused, slightly panicked. 

 

Lena shakes her head dismissively. 

 

“Nevermind.” 

 

/ /

 

**November 2016: National City**

 

“There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I wasn’t aboard the Venture yesterday.”

 

Lena Luthor walks right past the pair after greeting Jess with a friendly nod, not sparing a glance at the Kryptonians, walking on, expecting them to follow.

 

Clark shoots Kara a warning look and the two are off, matching the woman’s stride.

 

“Well that’s why we’re here.”

 

Lena walks over to hang her coat as an assistant drops files onto her desk. Kara stops a few feet from where Clark had.

 

“There was an emergency regarding the planning for a ceremony I’m holding tomorrow. I’m renaming my family’s company and I had to cancel.”

 

“Ah, lucky.”

 

Lena chuckles and Kara can’t deny what the sound stirs up inside her.

 

“Lucky is Superman saving the day.”

 

There’s a venom in Clark’s words, concealed in the carefully crafted charm in the lilt of his voice.

 

“Not something one expects a Luthor to say.”

 

Kara flinches, knowing full well how those kinds of words cut into Lena. She wants to reach out, take Lena by her shoulders and pull her in just to see if it’ll give her the same kind of warmth it always used to. Instead, she focuses on Clark and on the case.

 

(The action in it of itself is significantly hard.)

 

“Right. A-and Supergirl was there too.”

 

Lena turns around and Kara thinks she sees the woman’s confident grin slip just a tad. Lena pauses for a moment, seeming to take her in, as if just realizing Kara’s presence. The younger woman grits her teeth, spares the quickest glace towards Clark, and her smile returns.

 

“And who are you exactly?”

 

The question is loaded with the weight of the past six years, loaded in the same way that old friends might get together and ask the other, _how have you been_. Kara stammers, trying to find a way to sum up the past few years of her life in a sentence.

 

“Oh, uh, um, I’m Kara Danvers. I’m not with the Daily Planet. I’m with Catco Magazine.” Her voice trails off without her. “Sort of…”

 

Lena fixes her gaze steady on Kara.

 

“That’s a publication not known for its hard-hitting journalism.” She makes to sit at her desk. “More like, ‘High Waisted Jeans, Yes or No?’”

 

“I’m just, I-I’m tagging along today.”

 

Lena focuses on Clark now, her eyes glazing over and hardening-- the same way they always did when she hyperfocused on a particularly difficult multivariable equation.

 

“Right. Can we just,” The woman waves her hand in their direction. “speed this interview along? Just ask me what you want to ask, Mr. Kent. ‘Did I have anything to do with the Venture explosion?’”

 

The CEO’s bluntness causes Clark to pause.

 

“...Did you?”

 

Lena looks up from her work, a different kind of hardness and poison in her eyes.

 

“You wouldn’t be asking me if my last name was Smith.”

 

Her move makes the venom in Clark’s tone drip out.

 

“Ah, but it’s not. It’s Luthor.”

 

The remark causes Kara to internally start, glancing at her cousin from the side of her eye. Lena clenches her jaw and replies by stating her plans to rename and rebrand the face of Luthor Corp.

 

“I’m just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside of her family. Can you understand that?”

 

Kara notes the hint of desperation in her voice, a pleading that’s always been present whenever the younger woman spoke of the Luthors. It’s the familiarity of the tone that causes her to speak out and agree. Clark whips towards her at her response, eyebrows furrowing.

 

Lena hands them the drive containing evidence of the oscillator that caused the Venture’s explosion, her attention solely on Clark, refusing to meet Kara’s eye.

 

“Give me a chance, Mr. Kent. I’m here for a fresh start. Let me have one.”

 

Clark tips his head in her direction in goodbye.

 

“Good day, Ms. Luthor.”

 

Kara can feel the weight of Lena’s stare as they move out.

 

“Ms. Danvers.”

 

Kara stumbles to a stop at the sound of her name.

 

“Might I ask you to stay for a moment?”

 

Kara looks towards Clark, nodding to signify she’ll be alright, and turns to face Lena again as her cousin exits.

 

Lena’s staring right at her, a small smirk on her lips and a glint of something awfully familiar in her eyes.

 

“You’re following me all the way to National City now, Kara?”

 

/ /

 

**November 2010: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

Lena isn’t built for the cold.

 

Having grown up in a place where the highest was over seventy-five degrees, Harvard’s biting winters had the habit of making a popsicle of her. Unfortunately, her roommate, Kai, refuses to turn on the heat in their dorm, claiming it robs them of the season’s full experience. Why the gal thinks freezing to death in one’s sleep is part of ‘holiday fun’ is beyond Lena.  

 

It’s this that has her seeking refuge in Widener Library-- one of the only libraries on campus that stays open past 8pm on a daily schedule-- to study for her midterms.

 

The young woman’s got out her plethora of scribbled notes strewn out next to her textbook, trying to make sense of her handwriting, and wishing she’d taken the effort to organize her notes in a notebook earlier in the quarter.

 

“Hm. I _did_ kind of peg you as an Engineering major. It was either that or Law, but now that I’m thinking of it, Engineering suits you much better.”

 

Lena just about falls out of her seat in surprise of the voice behind her.

 

Kara Danvers leans over her shoulder, eyes skimming over sloppy notes, clad in a knit sweater with a reindeer on it, its nose glowing bright red. It’s alarmingly not enough to keep any normal person warm for the weather and yet the woman seems to be holding up just fine.

 

“Are you ever going to greet me like a normal person?”

 

Kara glances down to meet her eyes, a smile playing on her lips.

 

“And how exactly would a normal greeting look like?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe something along the lines of a, _hi_ or a, _hello_ or, _hey, I’m about to scare the life out of you, so watch out for that._ ”

 

Kara laughs, a sincere yet controlled expression, as not to bother the students around them.

 

“Well, what’s the point in warning someone you’re trying to scare? Seems a tad counterproductive, if you ask me.” Kara pushes out the chair next to Lena with a kick of her foot. “And to be fair, I was planning on greeting you ‘like a normal person’, but I saw you from the doorway and could practically _hear_ you shivering, so I went around and grabbed us some drinks.”

 

The older girl reveals the two steaming cups in her hands, raising them up slightly with a grin.

 

“I don’t know how you take your coffee, or if you would’ve preferred tea, so I just grabbed us some hot chocolate. I asked them to make mine with extra whipped cream, but if you like lots of whipped cream, we could just switch. I figure it’s following the whole ‘spirit-of-the-season’ thing too.”

 

Lena’s speechless at the gesture but takes the outstretched drink anyway, the warmth of the cup already thawing her frozen fingers.

 

“Uh, thank you.”

 

Kara beams at her and Lena can’t help but wonder if the girl ever stops radiating kindness. She doesn’t think she’d ever want to see that.

 

“Of course.”

 

“Um… I don’t mean to make light of the gesture, but I don’t think we can have these in here.” She winces at her own words, but Kara doesn’t seem to be phased, instead, the older girl winks, smile never leaving her features.

 

“I doubt the university would take a frozen student over a drink spilling.” Kara lowers her voice into a dramatic tone. “Your rule-following will be your demise, Ms. Luthor.”

 

“Fair enough,” Lena laughs, taking a large gulp of the drink and allowing it to warm her up.

 

“What brings you here anyway? Are you following me now, Kara?” Lena asks with a raised eyebrow and a playful smile.

 

“The Rare Books Collection, Lena. The Rare Books Collection.” She points to herself, grinning. “English major.”

 

“Hm. Suits you,” Lena echoes, raising her cup.

 

“So what’re you doing out here so late? This place is nearly deserted.”

 

“Studying for midterms. I was just cleaning up, actually. I can’t decipher my own handwriting for the life of me, I’ll just have to figure something out later. And what about yourself?”

 

“I just stepped out to grab something from the Collection. There’s this one photo from 1876 that I’m basing a final project off of. Other than that, I should be set for the night. Where are you staying at?”

 

“Widener Hall.”

 

“Oh, that’s convenient,” Kara smiles. “I’m over at Canaday. C-can I uh, would you mind if I walked with you?”

 

“Not at all. Isn’t Canaday in the opposite direction though?”

 

“Well, uh, yes.” Kara looks down at her lap, fiddling with the edges of the sleeve around her cup, picking at it with her nails. “ I’ll walk you to your hall though.”

 

“Oh.” Lena wonders if the surprise is evident in her voice. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah. I mean, it’s for nothing if to keep my mind sane. It’s less than a five-minute walk but who knows, you might risk your life to follow the _rules_ again.”

 

Kara spits out the final few words with a dramaticized emphasis, pulling a face to top it off.

 

Lena laughs at her antics, shaking her head.

 

“Just watch, you’ll grow up to be a cop or detective or a fed or something, and you’ll spite having to deal with college kids like _you_.”

 

“Ha, right. Like I have the gall to be in law enforcement.”

 

/ /

 

**November 2016: National City**

 

There’s a little tree that sits on the corner of Lena’s desk, decorated with tiny knick-knacks and small ornaments, brandished with reflective string to mimic lights. Kara notes how the deep green is no match for the depth of Lena’s eyes.

 

There’s a silence between them, one not so necessarily comfortable, and it’s making Kara squirm. She runs the tip of her pen against the spine of her notebook, running it back in forth between the spirals. She can feel the intensity of Lena’s stare burn right into her and she can’t help but think the woman would be that much more dangerous if she had heat vision herself.

 

Lena forces her way through the tension with a cleared throat and a, “So, Catco? You became a reporter after all.”

 

“Oh I’m not a reporter.”

 

Lena looks her up and down, “You just walked in with the most read name in all US publications, demanding the truth from a person who you believed blew up a spacecraft.”

 

Lena leans back into her chair, her voice taking an informative yet distinctly warm tone, “You could’ve fooled me.”

 

Kara lets out a flustered laugh, the tapping on her notebook more prominent now. If Lena notices, she doesn’t let on.

 

“And what about you?” Kara begins, nudging her head in Lena’s direction. “You took over the company.”

 

Lena tips her head to the side, nodding once, “That I did.”

 

“And how- how’s that been?”

 

The younger woman inhales sharply before huffing it all out with a smile on her face, “Busy, to say the least. Things were crazy in the Metropolis branch, for reasons I’m sure you can understand. I needed a break from all that.”

 

“So doing the same thing in National City, working the same hours-- that’s a break?” Kara’s jesting now, her lips falling into a lopsided smile, falling into old habits.

 

Lena lets out a laugh, shaking her head, “Fair enough.”

 

“What was it, really?”

 

“The people, mostly. I’m sure you’ve noticed the people around here tend to be… well, great, to say the least.” Lena shrugs, looking a bit flustered at the admission. “I mean, I’m sure you understand the appeal of the city. It seems you’ve gotten everything you wanted.”

 

Kara notices the hint of cynicism and immediately bristles-- hand coming to a stop on her notebook, fingers threatening to snap the pen in her hand, eyebrows furrowing. The woman has no idea what Kara’s got and what she’s lost.

 

Lena seems to notice the tone herself, just then, and flinches at her own words, leaning forward and shaking her head.

 

“I’m- I didn’t mean it that way. That, um, that wasn’t supposed to come out like that. I- I’m sorry.” She pauses to clear her throat and drum her fingers against the grain of her desk, abashed. “I have no idea what these past few years have been like for you. It wasn’t right for me to assume that.”

 

Kara stays silent, unsure what was appropriate to respond with. Lena searches her for… something, for the longest moment, eyes fluttering, trying to get a read on her.

 

Kara clears her throat.

 

Lena blinks at her and does the same, “I’d, um. I’d like to know, though. I-If you’d want to share that.”

 

It takes a long time, but eventually, carefully, meticulously-- over lunch breaks and secret glances and hushed conversation-- they find themselves drifting back together, unable to resist the unbreakable force of gravity between them, becoming casualties in their individual drives to stay together.

 

(It’s magnetic, dangerous, and foolish, but so, so worth it.

 

And Kara can’t help but fall deeper into the past.)

 

/ /

 

**November 2010: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

Lena waits three days to call her after their last get together-- something she heard about through the grapevine. It didn’t really make sense to her, why she was socially held to wait three days to talk to the woman she’s quickly realizing she has feelings for-- it just seems detrimental, why talk _less_ to the person you _want_ to talk to?

 

Nevertheless, three days after she and Kara last went out for lunch, she calls the English major up, bundled in a mess of blankets on her bed to keep warm, her roommate still out at class.

 

Kara picks up on the second ring and the sound of a thud follows her through the phone lines.

 

“Hey, hi, hello,” the girl on the other line blurts. Another thud comes through the speaker. “Sorry about that, I tripped on my way to my phone, there’s this chair piled with just… well, uh, laundry and it just all kinda toppled over. It’s fine though, I’ll grab it later, it’s cool, I’m fine, I’m good, it’s fine.”

 

Lena laughs, hearing the mess of words jumbled through the phone, breaking up and pausing in places where the technology couldn’t keep up with Kara’s rambling.

 

“One more time and I’ll believe you.”

 

Kara chuckles, allowing herself to take a breath, “I’m fine.”

 

Lena can feel herself smiling, the grin spreading across her lips as Kara’s voice floods her system, causing something to flutter up inside her, “Good to know.”

 

“And how’re you, Lena?” She can almost hear the smile in Kara’s voice and she’s willing to bet the older girl’s leaning back in her chair, pushing her glasses up in the way she always does when she’s about to tease Lena. “I see you waited exactly three days to call me, like, literally… right on the dot, seventy-two hours. It’s astounding that you seem to have followed societal convention and yet, the Lena-ness of it all still comes through.”

 

Lena flushes red, blood rushing to her face. She’s just glad Kara isn’t physically there to see it.

 

“Yeah, well, can’t have you thinking I’m _that_ interested in you, and look at that, I stayed away from my phone for three _entire_ days. Someone alert the officials, I’ve done it.”

 

“I hadn’t known you were _interested_ in me at all there,” she’s teasing, Lena can hear it clear in her voice, yet still, she hurries to correct herself.

 

“Oh, you know, that-that’s… well, I mean, um-”

 

She cut off by laughing on the other end.

 

“I’m kidding, Lena, don’t worry so much.” Kara lets the laugh in her voice fade off. “Besides, that’s relatively good news.”

 

“Oh? And why’s that?”

 

“Well because I’m _interested_ in you also,” Kara stressed the word in a jest but there’s a vulnerability in her voice, a sincerity.

 

The admission kind of makes Lena want to ball up in her sheets and giddily scream. Just a little.

 

/ /

 

Kara runs up to match pace with Lena, swooping up to catch the girl’s hand in one fluid motion. Her hands are insanely warm, enough to contrast the temperature of Lena’s hand that it’s giving her a tingling sensation.

 

The temperature. Definitely.

 

“We should have nicknames for each other.”

 

Lena swings their hands between them, using the connection to tug Kara closer.

 

“What’s wrong with me calling you Kara and you calling me Lena?”

 

“Nothing’s _wrong_ with it, exactly.” Kara shrugs, untangling their hands as Lena stuff hers in her pockets. The older girl loops her arm through and stashes it in her own sweater. “I just figure that it’d be cool.”

 

Lena tosses the idea around in her head, weighing the thought.

 

“I mean, both our names have only four letters. We don’t exactly have much to work with here.”

 

“Okay, but _still_. Our names have, like, two vowels each, and that’s like, fifty percent of the entire thing. We should do something about that.”

 

“Alright… what do you suggest?”

 

Kara brings her free hand up to rub the back of her neck, a look of embarrassment coming onto her face.

 

“Well, uh… I don’t know, what about ‘Kar’ and ‘Lee’?”

 

Lena laughs and playfully jabs the other girl with her elbow.

 

“Your genius idea is to remove the ‘a’s from our names?”

 

“And the ‘n’ from yours,” Kara winks.

 

“It’s lovely, I’m in.” She leans over to kiss Kara on the cheek, smiling at herself when the action causes the taller girl to turn bright red. “I have to say though, I quite like your name, Kara Danvers.”

 

“Well then, I _guess_ that gives it value.”

 

They start towards greek row, in which students have decorated the frat houses with a concoction of Christmas and Hanukkah decorations.

 

Lena’s just about to point out an odd-looking reindeer to Kara when she slips in the ice lining the sidewalk, dragging Kara down with her through their still-locked arms.

 

Quick as lightning, Kara’s twisting the two of them to take the blunt of the fall, something Lena wishes she really hadn’t done because she figures falling in the snow would be much softer than falling on Kara. She groans as she slams her wrist out to land on Kara’s shoulder.

 

“Fuck, Kara, what are you made of? Brick?”

 

Kara laughs, but it’s panicked and a little awkward, “Pft, no, that’s crazy. I’m made of human-stuff, exclusively, you know, the stuff that makes humans.”

 

“Ah, right. You must just be wearing steel clothes then,” Lena drawls, though she takes pity on the girl and cracks a smile. “Thank you for catching me though.”

 

“Always.”

 

Kara looks down, as if only now noticing their positioning. She starts squirming yet again, leaning up and helping Lena to her feet.

 

“As long as you don’t mind falling on what’s apparently brick.”

 

/ /

 

**November 2016: National City**

 

“You like to take risks, don’t you? When Corben was after you and now this. Why?”

 

Lena walks around her, pushing off her desk to circle around Kara, “Well, you can’t live in fear. You, more than anyone, must understand that. Time and again you risk everything to see justice done. Is it so hard to believe that I feel the same way? Or are you one of those people that thinks there’s no such thing as a good Luthor?”

 

There’s that venom in her voice, back again, and Kara has to remind herself that this is Supergirl, that it wouldn’t be appropriate to reach out and prove her wrong. She steels her voice and sets her jaw.

 

Supergirl. She’s Supergirl right now.

 

“I believe everyone should be judged on their own merits.”

 

A spark of hope ignites in Lena’s eyes, glazing over the previous expression, “Then judge me on mine.”

 

Kara flies off Lena’s balcony, promising to be at the gala, because no matter who she is, Kara Danvers or Supergirl or Kara Zor-El, and who she thinks she ever will become, she can never say no to Lena Luthor.

 

/ /

 

**December 2010: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

Kara looks up from fiddling with the thread of Lena’s sheets, eyes going blank, expression deadpan, “Absolutely not.”

 

Kara’s settled herself into Lena’s bed, two pillows propped up behind her, a blanket draped across her lap, and Lena’s laptop on the standby.

 

“You can’t judge a movie from the _one_ time you watched it with your sister years ago,” Lena retorts, throwing the DVD onto Kara’s lap and settling in under the blanket next to her, balancing the bowl of popcorn.

 

Kara wraps an arm around her, pulling Lena in to rest her head against her shoulder, and pressing even closer.

 

“I can and I will if it’s as bad as this one is.”

 

Lena lobs a piece of popcorn in the woman’s direction, throwing another when she hears Kara exclaim slightly, “Come on, Kara, even you have to admit _Space Odyssey_ has got its moments.”

 

Kara scoffs playfully, “Yeah, but they’re very few and fleeting.”

 

“But it’s Christmas!” She tries lamely, accentuating her voice a higher octave to mimic a Hallmark movie.

 

“Ah, right and _Space Odyssey_ is the perfect film that encompasses the Holiday spirit. The true Christmas miracle. The real story of Christmas. ”

 

Lena, against her better judgment and inwardly cringes, _pouts_.

 

“Please?”

 

It’s this that causes Kara to pause, drag her eyes around in search of something in Lena, and groan, throwing her head into Lena’s lap before straightening up, and nudging the laptop over.

 

“You suck.”

 

/ /

 

**December 2016: National City**

 

The gala ends with a bang and, because _of course_ , the next problem’s right around the corner.

 

It’s just after Thanksgiving and Kara’s using her reporter status to dig into Lena’s familial life and she can _see_ the betrayal in the other girl’s eyes. They hadn’t spoken of Lena’s mother since college, and there she is, using her job to angle her way into a case. And Lena _knows_ , Kara can tell from the way her eyes harden and her jaw sets, and now Kara’s one of those people who only get close to her to use her, and she doesn’t know how to hold herself around the younger woman anymore.

 

She approached the situation horribly, not that it mattered at the moment, but she put Supergirl in front of Lena, and logically, Kara knows that’s the way it _should_ be, one life for the safety of a city, but it just doesn’t make sense to her. She refuses to weigh the value of lives against a greater cause, especially not when the life in question is Lena’s.

 

Kara forgets sometimes, forgets who she’s supposed to be around Lena, and, “Don’t do it, Lena.”

 

Supergirl lands on the docks next to J’onn, causing a stir in the dust and looking past it to give Lena a pleading look.

 

The younger girl turns, but her gaze pierces somewhere through her, past her somehow, as if detached, “Why not? I’m a Luthor.”

 

Lena gives her a look, one she’s only seen directed at Kara Danvers, and that’s when Kara realizes Lena’s got a secret identity too. And whoever she’s playing at the moment just broke character.

 

Kara speeds after the missile, unable to decipher the meaning behind the desperate glance.

 

/ /

 

“You made the virus inert.”

 

Supergirl lands on the balcony of the CEO’s office, right behind where Lena stands-- elbows on the ledge, nursing a drink.

 

“And called the cops on my own mother,” Lena downs the rest of the contents in the glass. “I suppose that’s not what you fully expected, but it’s still quite in line with the Luthor brand, don’t you think?”

 

Kara moves to step forward but stops herself short.

 

Supergirl. She’s Supergirl right now.

 

“Betrayal, that is.” Lena laughs but it’s devoid of humor. She stumbles when turning around to face the hero, catching herself just barely. “And to my own mother. That’s got to be a record for the hall of ‘Luthor's Dreadful Deeds’.”

 

Lena looks down to her glass and frowns at it before raising it in a toast, a cynical smile on her lips, “To family values.”

 

“I’m sorry, Ms. Luthor.”

 

Lena laughs, drawls, “For what?”

 

“It’s not easy to realize those you admired aren’t what you saw them as.”

 

Lena clenches her jaw, her features illuminated in the moonlight, and Kara knows exactly what she’s thinking. It was her own father that made the virus, after all, and still, because how could she not, she loves him.

 

Lena studies her just then, staring intently at her hair and her lips and her eyes, eyebrows furrowing after each passing moment. Kara fights the urge to squirm, to reach for her glasses and push them up the bridge of her nose-- fights the urge to be human.

 

She clears her throat and crosses her arms in front of the emblem on her chest, and Lena blinks as if waking up. Kara notices her heart pick up its pace, fluttering alarmingly fast. She’s _scared_.

 

“What are you doing here, Supergirl?” Her voice is heavy from the liquor, her tongue dragging out the ends of her sentences.

 

“I came here to thank you.” A pause, and because Kara knows she’ll ask, “For saving the city.”

 

Lena blinks slowly, a sad smile stretching onto her face, “That coming from the woman who’s saved the world.”

 

“Doesn’t change the sincerity of my gratitude. Doesn’t change that the effects of your actions saved thousands of lives.”

 

“Mark down one point for Luthor then. Go easy from now on, I’m the only one still on the team,” There’s hatred in her words, pure, unadulterated poison that she’s trying to swallow down and digest.

 

Kara wishes more than anything that she wasn’t Supergirl right now. She shouldn’t be here, not in this suit.

 

“Ms. Luthor-”

 

“I’ve lost _all_ of them. I-” A sharp intake of breath and a grinding of teeth, then, “And I-I know they were far from good people, so how am I _supposed_ to feel?”

 

“It’s okay to recognize what they are to you, no matter what they’ve done. You’re not like that, Lena. You are intelligent, and you are kind, and you are _good_ \-- recognizing them as your family doesn’t mean being like them.”

 

“And how am I expected to make that distinction when they’re not by me anymore?”

 

“That doesn’t mean nobody’s by you.” Kara steps forward, watches as Lena’s eyebrows furrow, analytical mind always ahead of anything else, and she stops herself mid-stride. She places a bottle of water on the balcony sill, taking a few steps back as she does, preparing for flight.

 

“Lena, you’re not alone.”

 

/ /

 

**December 2010: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

There’s a banging on her door, loud and insistent, and all Lena wants to do in response is burrow further into her sheets.

 

Her roommate groans in the bed next to her before shuffling towards the door. Lena tries to go back to sleep as hushed voices filter through from the doorway. There’s a moment of silence and then Kai is nudging her awake.

 

“Kara’s at the door for you,” There’s a hint of something mischievous in her voice, something that hints at a scheme and an angle. As much as Lena likes Kara, she’s just finished her last final and wants nothing more than to sleep the rest of the day away. Nevertheless, she draws her blankets off of her, gritting her teeth at the sudden assault of cold air, and shoves on a sweater on her way to the door.

 

Lena pulls the door open to reveal Kara, dressed in yet another festive sweater, this time, blue, with white decals of menorahs, standing tall, determination in her eyes. She cracks a smile when Lena tips her head to one side in question.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi. Nice sweater.”

 

“Oh,” Kara looks down towards herself. “Yeah, I figured it’d be cool to celebrate both our upbringings today.”

 

“Did you bring me a sweater too, then?” Lena teases, though half expects Kara to pull a Christmas-themed sweater from her knapsack.

 

“Hm… not exactly what I had in mind.”

 

Kara beams at her just then, pure happiness exuding from her very presence, and lifts a hand to point at something above them. Lena glances towards the door frame and breaks out into a smile of her own.

 

“Mistletoe, really?”

 

“Thank Kai, she’s the one who set it up for me after you came home.”

 

“I’ll thank her later.”

 

At that moment, Lena chooses to stop fighting the pull between them, surging up to capture Kara in a searing kiss filled with warmth and happiness and something else she’s not ready to admit just quite yet. It’s electric, Kara’s abnormally warm body pressed up against hers, the feel of her knitted sweater under Lena’s clenched hands, Kara’s fingers hooking in the belt loops of her jeans, tugging her closer, closer, closer.

 

And then, “Get a room!”

 

Kai yells from further inside the dormitory, chucking her stuffed penguin at the back of Lena’s head.

 

Kara pulls away with a grin, though she doesn’t release her hold on the shorter girl.

 

“Maybe not thank. Maim. Maim seems like a much better option right now,” Lena murmurs.

 

Kara laughs, her hands coming up to skim her thumb against Lena’s jaw, fleeting touches that leave trails of ignited skin in their wake. Kena leans down again, lips soft against her own, for a lighter kiss.

 

“Happy Holidays, Lena,” the taller girl whispers, dropping a kiss on Lena’s forehead.

 

“Happy Holidays, Kara.”

 

/ /

 

“Okay, so I’ve got _Home Alone_ , _A Christmas Story_ , _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ , and _Nightmare Before Christmas_. We can run down to Blockbuster if you want to watch something else. I’m sure they’re chock-full of Holiday-themed movies right about now.”

 

Kara flops down beside her, propped up by her elbows, “So what’s first?”

 

Lena grabs the stack of DVDs, noticing something a tad strange about them, “Did… Did you pirate these?”

 

“Pft, no,” Kara snatches the stack back, pops open _Nightmare Before Christmas_ and sets it to play on her laptop, and tosses the others aside. “just... don’t look at them too hard.”

 

“How are you simultaneously the kindest person I know yet the most-”

 

“Awesome, funny, smart, hot?” Kara waggles her eyebrows, leaning into Lena.

 

The younger woman laughs, pushing her away playfully.

 

“I was going to say ‘rule-breaking’, but you know, those all work too.”

 

“Eh, well,” Kara pulls her over, pressed up side by side, her laptop in between them. “I think you’re kind, awesome, funny, smart, and hot too.”

 

Kara presses a kiss to her cheek and twines their fingers together under the blanket.

 

The opening number starts and ghouls take flight in the screen, singing the opening verse of _This is Halloween_.

 

“I used to be so scared of that one when I was little, just like, the thing with the eyes and the teeth under the bed, ugh, I hated it.” Kara shivers dramatically, pressing closer to Lena. “Alex used to stick a flashlight under my bed and have the light flood through to illuminate on her wall, she used to say that if there _was_ something down there she’d see its shadow and come protect me. I don’t know how she did it every night, she’d have to stay up until after I fell asleep to turn the torch off again.”

 

Lena smiles at the story.

 

“And then this friend I had showed me _Poltergeist_ and I wasn’t all too scared of monsters anymore.”

 

“Ghosts, then?”

 

“Exactly. You can hurt monsters, damage them and everything and protect yourself.” Kara half shrugs, her attention draining back to the movie. “You can’t punch ghosts.”

 

“Can’t punch ghosts…” Lena echoes.

 

They both sing along to _What’s This_ , Kara mumbling through the phrases spoken too fast for her tongue to unwind, Lena humming through the parts she doesn’t fully know. It’s around _Kidnap the Sandy Claws_ that Lena starts drifting off, right around when she always does during their movie nights.

 

By the time _Oogie Boogie’s Song_ comes up, Lena being startled awake as Kara belts the opening verse then proceeds to jump up from the bed and dance around Lena, dancing in time with the swings of the song. Lena rubs the sleep from her eyes and blinks blearily at Kara, sleepily laughing at the woman’s antics, humming along.

 

By the end of the movie, as those in Halloween Town sing a reprise whilst discovering the wonders of snow, and Jack and Sally declare their fates, Kara leans over and kisses her, warm and soft.

 

Lena pulls back, though not so far that she can’t still feel the heat that always seems to be radiating from Kara. Lena smiles at her, running her eyes over the slope of the indent right above her left eye, trying to count the individual flecks in her iris, determined to commit the image to memory-- to commit the moment to memory.

 

The instrumental plays through at the credits start up, and a smile spreads across Kara’s lips.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing. Just… You’re beautiful.”

 

She can see just when the tinge of red starts crawling up Kara’s neck.

 

/ /

 

**December 2016: National City**

 

“I’m not saying it’s a necessarily horrible thing, but December _just_ started. It seems a tad over eager for stores to have all this…” Lena gestures to the orgy of Holiday decorations lining the windows of the stores that surround the outdoor seating of the restaurant. “ _stuff_ out for display since November.”

 

“This coming from the person who once used ‘but it’s Christmas’ as a reason to watch the world’s worst movie?”

 

“Okay, wow. Ironically say something _once_ and you’re labeled for life.”

 

“You used it to get me to watch _Space Odyssey_ , of all things. I’ll never forget that,” Kara feigns a shudder.

 

“Right? The film’s just so memorable,” Lena jests.

 

Kara clicks her tongue and moves to reach her drink, “Not exactly what I meant, but okay, _sure_.”

 

“So your vendetta against _Space Odyssey_ remains, then?”

 

“It’s nearly three hours of horrid storytelling. _Three hours_.”

 

“Three hours too short,” Lena winks, raising her glass in a mock toast.

 

“You’re impossible.”

 

/ /

 

“You have to go easy on her, Alex.”

 

Her sister rolls her eyes, setting the case of beer and the bag of takeout down on the kitchen island.

 

“She’s a big girl now, Kara. The training wheels have got to come off eventually,” her sister teases. “I’m sure your _girlfriend_ won’t mind the competition.”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Kara mumbles back.

 

“Besides, if anything, the amalgamation of all…” Alex gestures towards the riot of Holiday decorations around Kara’s complex. “ _that_ will scare her off more than losing to Winn at Mario Kart.”

 

“We’re playing Mario Kart then?” Kara winces, remembering the after-effects of their last Mario Kart tournament that ended in more tears from Winn than she’d ever seen from knowing him since moving to the city.

 

She shakes her head, beginning to rummage through the bag of food. Alex stops her with a quick flick to her outstretched hand.

 

“That has to last between six people. You don’t get to have any early on.” Alex snatches the bag from the counter and walks over to Kara’s coffee table, unloading container after container of takeout.

 

There’s a knock on the door and one glance of x-ray vision reveals it to be Maggie, the detective bearing an identical bag of takeout.

 

“Who’s at the door?” Alex inquires, not looking up from setting the food.

 

“Maggie.”

 

Alex exclaims, dropping the now empty bag, “Oh, I got it.”

 

Her sister runs over to the door, prying it open, grin widening when Maggie waves a greeting.

 

“Oh thank god, reinforcements,” Alex moves to take the bag from Maggie, pulling her in for a quick kiss. The taller girl moves back, creating an intimate space with her back turned from Kara.

 

“I have a name, Danvers,” Maggie throws back, dimples prominent in the presence of her smile. She rocks onto her toes to return the peck.

 

Alex moves back towards the coffee table, throwing a sealed container of food in Kara’s direction on her way. She catches it easily, awkwardly maneuvering to prevent the contents from spilling out.   

 

“That’s all you get to yourself for the night. You have to share the rest, capisce?”

 

Maggie follows Alex to help in setting up, throwing Kara a smile and a wave in greeting.

 

Kara clears her throat and moves to stand closer to the pair.

 

“Now that you’re both here…”

 

Maggie and Alex exchange a look before both straightening up and giving similar closed-off stances to Kara. She can see why Winn’s always so intimated whenever Maggie comes to work on a joint case with the DEO. The two can be frighteningly threatening when they want to be.

 

“I need you two to put these on.”

 

She’s off and back in a flash and a gust of air, and Alex’s hands are clasped around two sweaters Kara brought in. Maggie looks at the choice of clothing, then at Kara for an explanation, then to Alex for help.

 

“Absolutely not,” Alex decides, throwing the offending articles of clothing down to the couch.

 

“Alex, _please_. It was a whole thing between the two of us during college. I even got James and Winn to agree. Just…” Kara waves her hands around. “okay?”

 

Her sister grinds her teeth and slips out of her leather jacket, Maggie’s eyes widening as she does. Kara smiles triumphantly and walks back into the kitchen to prepare the drinks.

 

“Wait, seriously?”

 

“It’s best just to go along with it when she’s like this.”

 

She can hear Maggie moving to put the sweater on in the background and does a mental celebration.

 

“So everyone’s just gonna… help your sister get laid?”

 

“I can hear you two.”

 

/ /

 

**January 2011: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

“What were you like as a kid?”

 

Kara looks up from her study material, a plethora of open textbooks and skewed papers lying around her bed, and shifts her glasses up.

 

The girl twists her lips, grinding her teeth.

 

“If we pretend, we can just say I was the good, quiet kid who sat at home and did homework.”

 

Lena laughs at this, “And were you?”

 

“Let’s just _say_ I was,” Kara winks and moves to close her books. “What about you? What’s life like growing up in the Luthor household?”

 

Lena lets out a puff of air, “Competitive, to say the least. My mother always pitted me and my brother against each other, which, by the way, neither of us wanted. I never really felt at included with them, I guess. There just seemed to be something always… _lacking_.”

 

The look in Kara’s eye urges her to continue.

 

“Lex always makes it better though, like the postcard big brother.” Lena smiles at the thought. “I love the guy. He’s just always so busy now with Luthor Corp. It feels empty without him, you know?”

 

“I didn’t really feel included either when I first-- uh, when the Danvers’ first adopted me. It was this whole new town with all these weird people and I didn’t think I could fit in. Alex helped me-- I mean, hated me at first, but yeah-- she helped lots. The only reason I ever felt at home was because of her, because _she_ was my home,” A pause. “I could, uh… I could help you i-if you wanted, if you’ll have me.”

 

Lena raises an eyebrow in response.

 

“You can always come home to me, Lena. I’m here for you, always.”

 

It’s later that night, when Lena can’t sleep from her inability to stop thinking about blonde hair and glasses and kindness, that she realizes that she might just be in love with Kara Danvers.

 

/ /

 

**December 2016: National City**

 

She finds Lena in this situation a lot-- hunched over her balcony, a drink in her hand, usually not her first in the night. Kara’s never there in the beginning, never there to stop it from happening. She’s  always too late, coming in right when Lena’s toeing the line between tipsy and flat-out drunk.

 

Thankfully, this time, she arrives as Kara Danvers.

 

Jess lets her in with a warm smile and a cautious look in her eye, one that reads _be careful_. Inside the office, Kara leads Lena from the balcony to the couch, prying the drink away from her and replacing it with a glass of water.

 

Kara’s on her phone, aimlessly scrolling through her news app when Lena starts to talk.

 

“Why is it that this always happens?” Kara puts her phone down and gives the woman her attention. “Everything I do is painted differently in the tabloids, a-and I, I’m _trying_.”

 

Lena slurs her words, the vowels too heavy and too big to comfortably fit on the tip of her tongue and the edges of her lips, “I’m trying so hard to be _good_ , Kara. And I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

 

“Lena-”

 

“Everything I do is marked with an asterisk that leads to my last name, and I don’t _get it_. You remember those puppet things we saw in the flea market when we were back in college? With the guy who looked like a really old Daniel Radcliffe? Like that. I-it’s like I’m one of those puppet things. And everyone’s just tugging on the different strings and just dancing all over me.” Lena shakes her head, the movement lethargic. “That didn’t make any sense, but you know what I mean.”

 

Kara nods, “I get that.”

 

It’s the same thing people do with Supergirl’s image after all.

 

“You just have to…” Kara finds herself at a loss for words, starts stuttering and waving her hands about. “like, you know, dance? Right back?”

 

Lena gives her an incredulous look and Kara would find it much easier to speak if she couldn’t hear how Lena’s heart stuttered whenever she got close. She groans, head between her hands, and Lena can’t help but laugh.

 

It’s contagious, the bubbling happiness in Lena’s tone, the look of contentedness on her face, and Kara’s right there laughing along with her.

 

She slaps her hands down to her knees, and pushes up, standing now, and extends a hand towards her friend.

 

“Come on,” she urges.

 

Lena arches an eyebrow in response.

 

“Nope, I’m sticking to what I said. It, uh… It’s _something_ and it’s solid and not exactly what I was trying to say, but it’s true.” She fishes her phone out her back pocket, puts her music on shuffle and begins to make an absolute fool of herself. It’s worth it to hear the return of Lena’s laugh.

 

Kara dances over to her, pulling her up in one fluid motion, only to grossly overestimate her actions. Lena tumbles into her and, _oh_ , they’re much closer than Kara initially anticipated. Her eyes are on the bluer end today, deep and dark, and Lena’s looking up at her with a slight furrow to her brows and a slight frown to her lips and,   _fuck_ , she’s just a breath away.

 

Kara gulps and grits her teeth, straightening the two of them up and steadying Lena when she starts to sway. She leaves her hands around the smaller girl’s waist and she can feel where Lena’s hands wrap around her neck from how her skin tingles.

 

They sway to the beat of the music, the air thick between them.

 

/ /

 

**September 2011: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

The summer had brought on a lot of change in the both of their lives.

 

Jeremiah went missing and his coffin was filled with sand at his funeral.

 

Lex went insane and targeted a god on earth.

 

They had fought over Kara’s cousin, Clark Kent, the one whose name was in the byline of the article defending supers. There was more emotion in that fight than there was fact, and the both of them knew it.

 

And with a fiery explosion, everything Lena knew to be true is taken away from her.

 

/ /

 

**December 2016: National City**

 

Lena is the last to stay at her holiday party, everyone else having filtered out periodically in the last hour.

 

Kara says a quick goodbye to her sister, sending her and Maggie off with a hug and a container of leftovers.

 

She turns back around to see Lena with a gift in her hand and a small smile on her lips, “It’s nothing much, but I wanted to thank you for inviting me tonight. And for giving me a second chance.”

 

Kara leans in to wrap her in a hug, her body steady against Lena’s. She isn’t ready to pull away when Lena starts to, so she pulls back but not so far that she can’t feel the thud of Lena’s heart in her chest.

 

She skims her fingers over Lena’s jaw, catching the gulp and quickening heartbeat of the other girl.

 

“Can I-?”

 

Lena’s surging forward and capturing her lips before she can finish the sentence and, _oh_ , it’s everything she remembers it is and more. It’s heat and pure passion-- the feeling of taking in fresh air and skimming your fingers over freshly cut grass. It’s calm and serene and Kara takes a breath and it’s then that she realizes she’s never fallen out of love with the girl in her arms. It’s every great day she’s ever had because it’s _Lena_ and god, her, her, _her_.

 

And there she stands, the Girl of Steel melting into the embrace of the woman she loves and my _god_ , it’s full of stars.

 

/ /

 

**December 2012: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

“So what ever happened? Between the two of us?”

 

Her order hasn’t changed in two years, is the first thing Lena notes. She looks different, looks like she’s made peace with certain things. Lena wonders if she’ll ever get to that point herself.

 

“Timing, I guess,” Lena shrugs. “We both went through our own things and forgot to include the other. Things were changing so fast, I don’t remember it all.”

 

She’s lying through her teeth; she recalls every bit of it, up to the last day where everything bad came to a stalemate, where they were all too tired to even fight anymore. She hates that she let it reach that point.

 

“Hm.” Kara drums her fingers against the table between them and lets out a puff of air. She’s picked up new habits too-- fiddles with her glasses more often, wrings her fingers together, cracks her knuckles when she's nervous. “Then… what now?”

 

Lena shrugs yet again.

 

“I’d ask for friendship but I’m not that dense to believe we’re okay. I’d like that one day though, after we’ve both had enough time, i-if you want.”

 

Lena gives her a small laugh and nods in response.

 

“I mean, I’d want to be around when you become some world-famous inventor with world-saving tech and whatnot, right?” Kara jests. “I mean, if nothing but for the monetary value.”

 

“Oh yeah, of course. And I’d want to get inside scoops about breaking news before it's even revealed to the public. I can run a blog with that kind of info-- just publish everything before major newsletters. The people will think me a seer,” Lena accentuates her words with a raise of an eyebrow and a lilt to her voice.

 

Kara laughs in response.

 

“I’m glad we’ll both benefit then,” she raises her coffee cup in a toast.

 

A moment of silence passes over them and Lena takes the time to brave herself to ask the question.

 

“Would you have not done it at all, knowing what you do, with how bad it got towards the end?”

 

Kara blinks in surprise and there’s only genuinity in her voice.

 

“Lena Luthor, I wouldn’t give up the experience of getting to know you for the world.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that's that! It took writing this entire fic for me to realize how to correctly spell 'Massachusetts', so yay for the learning experience. This is also my first time writing a main kara/lena plot line, and it was pretty cool to get a read on their characters-- I just hope I didn't write them completely horribly or incorrectly. If there's any glaring mistakes in the editing or writing in general, please tell me and I'll go back and fix them.
> 
> Anywho, thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed the story :)
> 
> Happy Holidays!


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